At a Loss
by Taichiro
Summary: Minerva finds herself in a compromising position, with the unlikliest of sorts


Minerva McGonagall sat in the staffroom, exhausted from her day's work, she had quelled three fights, two mistransfigurations, and a charm that sent a third year Ravenclaw into violent spasms.

The Staffroom wasn't empty, there were two or three teachers milling about between classes, getting things ready for their next lessons, and McGonagall took the opportunity to secure herself a nice chair near the fire.

"I'm getting too old for this." She sighed, to nobody in particular.

"You look like you could use a pick-me-up" came a gravelly voice from across the room.

"Oh, Professor Moody!" McGonagall started, "I hadn't seen you there!"

"I try to avoid being seen as often as possible" he replied, "You never know when somebody is gonna grab you from behind!" he offered her his hip flask.

"Honestly, Alastor, you really are too paranoid." Came the reply. "Thanks, but I can't drink today, I still have another class."

"Suit yourself" Moody stated.

Moody set about organizing his things for the next class, and McGonagall put him out of her mind, focusing instead on a particularly strange ember, glowing in the hearth.

As the staffroom cleared, Professor McGonagall sighed to herself "Alone again….." she said aloud..

"Why Professor, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're missing somebody!" came the same gravelly voice as before.

McGonagall rose with a start "Oh! I hadn't realized you were still here."

"I was just on my way out!" replied Moody

"Don't go, just yet" Minerva was inches away from his face….

Moody was taken aback…. "I don't think I should be here, I should go"

"Just a little while longer" pleaded McGonagall, "Please? For me!"

Moody leaned into her, and began unfastening her hair, as the grey curls flowed down her back, she looked ten years younger, he leaned and began kissing the folds of her aged neck.

"Ooh Alastor!" groaned McGonagall in a hushed, hot breath….

"I haven't been with a woman as feisty as you in years!" grunted Moody between hot sloppy licks at her neck, and ears….

Moody fumbled with the clasps on McGonagall's robes, and as the final one sprung apart, her bright green gown slid to the floor. The only thing that stood between Moody, and McGonagall's nether regions was an old fashioned brassiere, a G-String, and a thousand hooks on her corset…..

"Damn it to hell!" fumed Moody, who brandished his wand at her corset, and shouted "Accio Corset!"

As the hooks unfastened themselves, the corset flew across the distance between the two teachers, right into Moody's hand "That takes care of that!" he said, as he leaned back into her embrace, shucking his jacket and shirt as he went…

Moody's body was grotesque, a mixture of scar tissue, wrinkles, and wiry gray hairs, not unlike steel wool. McGonagall yelped as his body brushed against hers, but she couldn't escape his grip, even if she had wanted to.

She collapsed backward, onto a desk, used mostly for organization purposes, and Moody unfastened the final clasp on her brassiere.

Minerva's breasts flopped out, like two old socks filled with gravy…as Moody began fumbling with them, McGonagall used this as an opportunity to unfasten Alastor's trousers.

As she hauled Moody's scarred wrinkled member from under his pants, she let out a muffled scream of alarm, as it was plainly obvious that half of it was missing.

"Oh, Alastor, I had no idea!"

"Pay it no mind love, just goes with the territory of being an Auror is all…."

"But, now I see why you never settled down, or fell in love….it's so sad"

The two geezers stood naked in front of each other, eyeing each other like a six-year-old does candy…..their wrinkles and folds hanging off of them like bits of old elephant skin.

"Worry not, Minerva, I still know how to please a woman"

and with that, he inched her granny panties down to her knees, and dove in…..

"ALASTOR!" moaned Minerva, as her thighs closed on Moody's head…..Moody was unfazed by this, and continued his savage oral attack on her wrinkled, sandpaperlike nether quarters.

Moody stood up, looked McGonagall in the eyes and said "I have an idea!"

"Anything for you, love!" came the reply, in short, hot breaths….

Moody bent down, and unfastened his prosthetic leg (just a peg, really), and passed it to McGonagall…..

"What am I gonna do with this?" she asked.

Moody just grinned with the scarred slit that was once his mouth, if one could call it a grin. "Watch this" was all he said…..

Moody reached up with his right hand, and placed it on the back of his head, his left hand was positioned over his bulging 'magical' eye. He mock-slapped himself in the back of the head, and his eye came flying out of it's socket, and into his hand…..

He halfheartedly chucked it amongst his lessons, and other things laying about the room, and looked into Minerva's eyes.

I think you can figure it out from here, he said, helping McGonagall strap the peg-leg around her waist.

Moody leaned forward, and used his empty eye socket to mount the peg leg. As Professor McGonagall pounded his skull into the evening, A repetitive sound, like two skeletons making out on a tin roof, a clattering like they were grinding each other's arthritic, stick-like feeble bones into dust, could be heard from the staffroom for what seemed like hours.

When Minerva McGonagall arrived at her next class, she had a smile on her face, and an extra spring in her step, but most stunning of all, to the students, was that she didn't assign any homework that evening.


End file.
